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Resurgence - Poem or song in Progress? It's missing something

Diana

Divine Space Witch
Staff Member
Sovereign Owl
I wrote this a few months back to support a challenge over at Iwaku! At the time I was super pleased with myself, but now I feel like it needs one more extra little pieces to it. I don't do poetry very often, so I would definitely appreciate any advice or suggestions on what I could do to fluff this out a little more.

it comes with the moon
this crimson noir spy
with a beauty that shrieks
and a voice that tells lies

you break and you quake
then next goes the mind
it hurts you and leaves you
but you beg for more time

lost is the fire born
that burned deep within
yet when she dare next come
you find strength once again

know nothing is fair
and hearts may shine black
but nothing lasts always
and a bitch will be back
 
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